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| with my first and last born |
It has never been easy being a mother. From the first day you conceive a baby.... the morning sickness that you need to bear throughout the pregnancy... the loss of appetite, the pain, the nausea, the headache, the vomiting, the instability of emotion, you name it.... Then you go to the delivery stage - only Allah knows how painful it was when the baby's head passed through the cervix ... the healing process and the confinement that a mother needs to go through doesn't last until at least a month ... well, the list could go on and on ... the weight gain, the shape loss, the sagged boobs, the sleepless nights,.......etc etc.... As children are growing up, mothers curb their thinking, behaviour and action according to their beliefs and customs. You make sure they know how to differentiate right from wrong, good from bad and halal from haram. You tell them repeatedly what they should do and what they should not do. You constantly remind them to be good to themselves and to others. You keep on instilling values and taught them to be respectful towards other people. You thought you have taught them enough. You thought they will be be obedient children. You thought they will remember and listen well .... As mother, you would always choose to see the positive things in your children. As mother, you would always think that your children will not let you down. However, challenges become intense as the children get older, especially when they are defiance towards the regulations set by you. You suddenly refuse to admit that you have lost the child you have loved and nurtured. It makes you wonder... where did you go wrong? Have you taught her right from wrong, good from bad and halal from haram? Have you taught her to pray and recite the holy Quran? Have you hugged and kissed her? Have you brought her for holiday abroad? Have you bought her most of the things she needed? Have you told her that you love her? Have you reminded her of her duties? Have you.... have you .... have you.... YES! What else does she want? Freedom? How free could she be? Only Allah has the answer. Prayers will go to all the children... None will be left out. May Allah forgive all the children and may Allah make it less intense for this mother to deal with the rest of the children. Motherhood is not easy, has never been easy, and will never be easy. May Allah give wisdom, guidance, blessings and strong intuition to all mothers....
